War Related Dreams

*the content on this site is constantly altered or adjusted to better reflect my experience*

Because of how vivid they are, the memories of the experiences I have in my dreams, seem to be like almost any other memory of events I experienced in my awake state. They really do feel like full blown experiences. Sometimes my dreams are vivid, and intense enough that I remember, and am ready to recount them at any moment. Other times, it's a matter of the memory of the experiences I had in my dreams, being triggered into my awareness.

A frequent theme in my dreams is the theme of war. These dreams carried throughout my life, and they still happen. They very much have the same vibe as my other precognitive dreams. As a result of these dreams, I feel I had the horrifying experience of war many times over. There are some dreams, where for example I dream of a sequence of events, and years later I dream of the exact previous, or exact following sequence of events. The fact that I believe these dreams to be precognitive in nature, it doesn't mean they will happen, but it also doesn't mean they won't. I believe that whether they do, or don't is dependent on the state and condition of collective consciousness. 

I experience all of my dreams through my then years old consciousness, and they are, but snippets of a brief moment in time. For this reason, I can't speak on the wider context, but only of things I am triggered to think of, or feel during my dream.

I remember a dream I had as a kid/teen. I was in a large group of people. It seemed we were prisoners. Some of us were wearing striped prisoner-like outfits, while others only had rugged clothes on them. We seemed to be traversing what seemed to have once been a town. All buildings were severely damaged, and the place seemed to be deserted. There were no other people around, aside from this large group of people I was in. I felt as if we were moving from one location to another. Me, and others around me were talking. Someone was saying that since we weren't accompanied by any soldiers, maybe this was our chance to escape. There were no soldiers around us, we had no shackles, or something like that, and no one seemed to be supervising us. Someone else, or maybe me, said that it was very possible they were watching us, and trying to escape could be a suicidal mission. There was this feeling that it was something similar to what seemed to be an unmanned airplane, that wasn't an airplane, and that we could have been watched, or shot at, from somewhere above. We didn't really know if we were being watched, but we knew it was a common occurrence for those types of things to happen. We seemed to just comply with orders, and we were going from place to place seemingly by ourselves, with no one getting out of line, out of fear. There seemed to be nowhere to run to, or hide anyway. I had no awareness of drones at the time. I feel my lack of awareness of drones is obvious based on my then consciousness' understanding of how they could watch and shoot at us, despite there being no soldiers around. I have no idea who they were.

I have a rather vivid memory of the one below as well.  I find this one interesting, because it was a follow up to a sequence of events from another dream, in which they took us out of our homes. I also dreamt of another sequence related to the dream below, like a 3 part dream. I don't have vivid memories of either of the other sequences, but I know they were spaced years apart, and the dreams weren't in chronological order. I know this to be the case, because I as I was dreaming, I became aware of having dreamt(experienced) the previous, or following sequence of events in another dream I had. 

In some of these dreams where war was featured, I saw myself being taken out of my home, usually in the middle of the night, and forced to move to a different location. In one I had in the past few years, I was with my entire family in an apartment, other than our home. We were all together - me, my brother, and my parents. I remember how, as I was dreaming, I was trying to work out how that could happen, as while I had been living with my parents, my brother hadn't. We were in an apartment smaller than our own, but still decently sized for all of us. It was a one bedroom apartment, with the living room serving as both a living room, and bedroom. It was modest, but had all amenities, and everything we needed to live in relative comfort. We had no access to internet, phones, or tv. All forms of communication, and entertainment were cut off. We weren't allowed to go outside. I had some awareness of food being brought to our door regularly. [As I am writing this, I actually remember another dream where I saw food being brought to us, while we were in that apartment]. I remember, thinking of the people who used to live there, wondering where they were, thinking they must have missed their home, just like we did. They were made to move out of their home, just like we were. I was feeling sad. I was aware - I had a similar awareness in other dreams of this kind - we had all been relocated, although it was unclear why. When they came, and took us out of our homes, we imagined the worst - that we were going to die, but they put us in a decent place, much more decent than we were expecting, or imagining. It felt peculiar, and we didn't understand the purpose of it. Since we started living there, which seemed like a decent amount of time - months - life had been eerily quiet. I remember feeling really bored, and missing the sources of entertainment we used to have. I started observing a dead bug on the floor. There was nothing else to occupy my time with. I was thinking how despite the fact that life was uncertain, we were trying to make the best of it. We seemed to have settled there, and had grown accustomed to the pain of our lives being uprooted. I remember observing how weird it was that we were just going about life as usual, making casual conversation about what were in essence unimportant, and frivolous things. I was thinking that even if they didn't say it, my parents, and my brother had to have been just as terrified as I was. I don't remember us talking about how horrible what was going on was. I think we were thankful we were alive, that we had a place to live, food to eat, and we were together. I also remember thinking of A.. I was wondering if the war had only started here in Romania, or if it started where he was too. I had no idea. I remember, how at one point an order was heard from outside. We were ordered, through a speaker probably, to all sit down in our homes. I remember finding it weird that no one came to our now home to tell us to sit down, but I remember complying with the order. I was scared. That kind of thing hadn't happened since we started living there. We were in the kitchen when the order was heard. Me, my parents, and my brother sat around the table. My brother reached for the fridge, at which point, a gunshot, and screaming was heard from outside. For some reason I felt, and believed they must be shooting through windows at those who weren't sat down. I remember not understanding how they could see into our homes. I didn't know if they really could, or if they were just shooting at random. I remember I started crying, begging my brother to sit down. We were in what was, I believe, an 'O', or maybe 'U' shaped building with an inner courtyard. I remember observing through the kitchen window an armed soldier stood in a balcony, at a higher level, in the wing adjacent to the one we were in. He was holding a rifle, and seemed to be ready to shoot. I imagined there were probably soldiers in every wing of that building.

The one above, I had in recent years. I also had others, where I was remembering, and thinking of A., and in them I deeply regretted not sharing one dream in particular with him. I was filled with regret, because the war had already started, and I no longer had the possibility of doing that. That particular dream is the one below. 

In this dream, I was living in what seemed to be a student dorm. I was forced to live there, alongside many other people I didn't know before, after a war erupted. Despite everything, we were going about our life, as well as we could in those circumstances, and life seemed relatively quiet those days. My brother seemed to be in the same dorm. At one point, some agitation started going on in the dorm. I didn't understand what was happening exactly, but I think I heard someone around me say that soldiers were roaming the building. I hadn't seen any soldiers, but I understood from other people, we were supposed to head towards the exit. I wondered where my brother was, as I couldn't see him. I feared for his safety, and wanted to go look for him. There was a lot of confusion going around, and people were scared. Out of fear, I started heading towards the exit. I was going down the main stairs of the dorm. As I was going down those stairs, I started worrying about them finding my emails towards A., a Muslim man. I worried about what it meant for me. I don't know what year it was during the events happening in my dream, but I had the awareness of having stopped writing to A. in 2017. I worried about what it meant for me, because I was also aware they went Nazi Germany style on Muslim people. I also remember worrying about rape. As I was approaching the exit, I saw a soldier guarding it. He was of East Asian ethnicity, and he was wearing an olive coloured uniform.

I didn't stop writing to A. in 2017. I, actually remembered this dream in 2017, as I was pondering to stop writing to him, and it was the memory of this dream that had me write to him again that year.

I had many of these kinds of dreams, and the way the war starts changes. It usually happens during the night, and is always completely unexpected. In one of these dreams, because I am aware of all the war related dreams I had throughout my life, I jumped out of my third floor window. I remember looking down, putting in balance the pros and cons of me jumping, as I heard them barge into my home. I knew they were about to come, as I had already heard them barge into other apartments in the building.

I remember the crippling fear in all of these dreams.